I was tossing from left to right on my bed, just had some thoughts running through my mind. I just can’t seem to erase thoughts I have. When I work, I feel so free and normal, but when it comes to me being alone like bed time, the thoughts all just come barging in. I’m doing this post because I just wanted to share or should I say just wanting to have someone to talk to. Anyway I don’t have in mind who I wanna talk to when it comes to this kinda stuff. Therefore I shall just do it here.
Life has been interesting and fun now, like working, a fun bunch of colleagues, so yea. I’m doing fine right now, earning cash and spending it like nobody’s business. You’ve got to pamper yourself every once in a while yea. I bought quite a few stuff which I think is unnecessary. Vans Takahayashi, PS3, and Vans Red, shirts, t-shirts, Gap hoodie? what else? I forgot. I can’t be bothered on what I bought since it’s unnecessary. More to come I guess?
Mum’s in France, settling down. She’s coming back on the 5th of May. Then going back to France again. I made some plans!!! After my NS, I’ll be heading over there for a few months. Wonderful! Prefer to go alone or with someone I love J Future Girlfriend I suppose? Why am I always talking bout girls? Fuck. I want someone that I can love, but I am afraid to. Hahaha. Dumbass. I love what I’m doing now, at the same time, I want someone that I can share it with. But I do not feel like committing my time to a relationship. Why is it like that? Please someone tell me? What an ass I am. Tsk tsk tsk.
I had 2 days off. Yesterday and today. Home delivery for the past 2 days. Yesterday was Mac delivery, today was Canadian. Had Canadian with my Dad only. All the ladies in the house were either out or not in Singapore. 2 lonely guys at home, Me and Dad.
So both of us ate pizza, had pepsi, calamari, and chicken wings. Like father like son, I’m starting to look like him. OMG! Hahaha. Big tummy, wear specs, walking around in the house with just boxers on. OMG OMG. Luckily we have some things which ain’t common. I’ve got short hair, while he’s is long, my skin is fair while he’s is dark, my eyes are just nice while he’s is big and I wear earrings while he doesn’t. How cool is that? Hahaha. Like father like son. Bo pian.
Oh yes, we watched the same show, ate the same stuff, talked bout the same stuff and what else? I don’t know. No wonder he’s my father. Bo pian. Hahaha. Like father like son. Bo pian. We smoke too. He has quit though, except me. Like father like son. Bo pian. Thank you Lord for a father like him. Hahaha. Bo pian. Life for me is like that. What to do? I’m happy so is my family. Bo pian.
7 more hours to sleep. Bo pian have to sleep. What to do? Like is like that. Work, eat, sleep, shopping. Done. This is what you do for you life. Thanks ah. What to do? Like is like that. Bo pian.
Lately, I’ve had thoughts that really make my heart ache. Voices I hear everyday, they tell me, just let it go and carry on, why still hold on when you know there isn’t anymore chances? Please make the right choice, start afresh, don’t let it affect you anymore. Those are the sentences I have been hearing for the past few days after some incidents that happened. Actually those voices started long ago which was already close to a year. Sometimes, it is really very hard to let go of someone whom you gave your all and would do anything just to make her happy. But at some point of time, you do make her angry and making her happy was just as simple as snapping my fingers. Recalling those wonderful, sweet and loving times we had is really great but at the same time agonizing.
A few days ago, I was chatting with a friend on MSN, and all about a sudden he just asked bout my Ex girlfriend, and then on, we started talking about relationships and things that relate. I din really wanna talk bout it but somehow I did and it really hurt a lot that night.
Really good friends had told me to let her go, but it ain’t easy. Just because I still love her regardless of what had happened in the past. I don’t know why. That is why maybe people say that love is blind? I do think it’s true to a certain extent. Like you would do anything for that person you really love. Alright so letting go ain’t easy and that explains why I’ve been clinging on after the breakup on 31st of March 2008. Some of you may think it’s stupid and child’s play to remember dates, but for this particular date it’s really heartbreaking. Try being in my shoes.
Ever since the breakup, I’ve been longing to get her back into my arms again, countless times I’ve tried and tried, the result I get is zero. It’s really hard now that I want her back into my life. I’ve been hoping so much, thinking almost every night what we did together when we were together. Just purely thoughts of her. Just whenever I’m alone in some where quiet and comfortable, I’ll think of her too. I’ve been longing to see her, but she says she’s busy every now and then. It’s alright I understand, there may be reasons.
So I’ve been thinking if I should really listen to the voices I hear every now and then? If I let my thoughts of her go, It would really affect me emotionally. But if I cling on and knowing there ain’t hope, it would also affect me. But if I do try to let her go, things may have a change of direction, may be better, may be worse. I would want to have a positive outlook.
Actually I’ve had made my decision while I was on the way home in the bus just now. I will try to forget her, but in one condition, let me have the last dinner with her and that’s all. It would end there. From there on.. let’s see bout that.
I may think sometimes, that my blog is too wordy? But if you really like reading stuff from me, I guess you wouldn’t mind right? J
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I’m tired now after a laborious day at work and the extremely long bus ride home. I haven’t had dinner neither have I had lunch. All I had was 3 slices of walnut bread in the morning before proceeding to the office. Gosh. Diet ah..Diet.. Haha. Wrong way to do it, but this is not my plan on how I’m going to slim down. I mean just toning up my abs. Gonna get rid of the excess fats around my waste. I just realize I can’t wear anymore V-necks nor tight shirts!! Fuck! That is why I’m seriously trying to cut down on my intake on food and drink more water and eat healthily.
Alright, I woke up really early today just to go to the office to sign some important documents and headed to Gap. Woke up at like 8 and left the house at 8.30. Although I had like less than 8 hours of sleep last night, I felt so damn energetic and happy when I went for work today. Was like smiling to everybody, then after half the day had passed, I slowly felt tired. Actually, work today was a little relaxing. The reason why is because I was asked to go to Somerset Mrt to help my colleague pick up some stuff and I took my own sweet time walking there which made my colleague alittle impatient and she left before I could reach, and I got a call to go back because she had already walked back before I could reach. Hahaha. That was like 2pm. Then shortly after I went for my break.
Then, at like 5, I was asked to go to Wisma to collect stuff. Wooow damn happy. Hahahaha. Took my own sweet time to stroll there and stroll back. Took me like 45 mins just to go and come back. Hmm Relaxing huh? Hahaha 3 hours later I’m on the bus going home. :O Going to work again tomorrow and gonna smile to everybody I see! Goodnight everybody!
And a coldness runs through my soul
And the rain falls, oh the rain falls
I don't want to be alone
I wish that I could photoshop all our bad memories
Because the flashbacks, oh the flashbacks
Won't leave me alone
If you come back to me
I'll be all that you need
Baby, come back to me
Let me make up for what happened in the past
Baby come back to me (come back)
I'll be everything you need (come back)
Baby come back to me (come back)
Boy, you're one in a million (come back)
Baby come back to me (come back)
I'll be everything you need (come back)
Baby come back to me (come back)
You're one in a million (one in a million)
Lower east side of Manhattan
She goes shopping for new clothes
And she buys this
And she buys that
Just leave her alone
I wish that he would listen to her side of the story
It isn't that bad
It isn't that bad
And she's wiser for it now
I admit I cheated
Don't know why I did it
But I do regret it
Nothing I can do or say can change the past
Baby come back to me (come back)
I'll be everything you need (come back)
Baby come back to me (come back)
Boy, you're one in a million (come back)
Baby come back to me (come back)
I'll be everything you need (come back)
Baby come back to me (come back)
You're one in a million (one in a million)
Everything I ever did
Heaven knows I'm sorry babe
I was too dumb to see
You were always there for me
And my curiosity got the better of me
Baby take it easy on me
Anything from A to Z
Call me what you wanna but
I open my heart to be
You are my priority
Can't you see you punished me
More than enough already
Baby take it easy on me
Baby, take it easy on me
Baby come back to me
Baby come back to me
Baby come back to me (come back)
I'll be everything you need (come back)
Baby come back to me (come back)
Boy, you're one in a million (come back)
Baby come back to me (come back)
I'll be everything you need (come back)
Baby come back to me (come back)
You're one in a million (one in a million)
Baby come back to me (come back)
I'll be everything you need (come back)
Baby come back to me (come back)
Boy, you're one in a million (come back)
Baby come back to me (come back)
I'll be everything you need (come back)
Baby come back to me (come back)
You're one in a million (one in a million
For the past few days, while I was taking my off days from work, a lot of stuff happened. Be it good or bad, it has just affected me emotionally. The things that happen just keeps on rumbling in my mind. The past was being brought back again and that triggered my emotions. I can’t seem to see whether whatever being said to me was true, neither would I wanna pin all my hopes on that. I’m afraid of being left alone with all those memories. The stuff now is all very complicated in one way or another. Many of you do not know what actually happened and how I’m feeling at sometime about some stuff. I may seem all happy most of the times but as you know, there is a malay saying that if a person is sad, and keeps on laughing or acting happy, laughter will eventually lead to tears. Something like that. But in fact, I’m not as sad as you all may think. It’s only a few issues that would affect me.
Anyway, I’ve got a message from my in-charge informing that I actually had work tomorrow. Like WTF. I saw my schedule before I left on Saturday and it said Thursday is my next working day. Then, this Friday , I actually am not working. He sent me an sms saying Friday we’ll discuss the don’t remember what he said, just wanted to discuss something with me. Fuck? I’ve to work on Friday too? Thought my schedule was already planned. It’s alright, I shall have a positive thinking. Working there will be relaxing for me, I also can go to town when I work, and more, I’ve got money to make. Positive thoughts! Wooo!
Updates about yesterday, went out with Candy to Orchard, she shopped, I shopped. Bought a few stuff so did she. Think we shopped too fast and ending up having no idea where to go next. Next thing you know, her friend came along like at 8 or 9 and guess what? He stays a few blocks away from me. Wth. Coincidental. After we were bored in Orchard, we left for Jurong west to have late dinner and He drove me home. But really very coincidental that he too stays in Teban Gardens too. Haha. Not long after being home, bathed and did stuff I needed to do, I received a call from the crazy girl named Candy. Chatted till 6a.m, Omg it’s now that I realized why I’m feeling so sleepy. Therefore, I’m going to bed now because I have work tomorrow. Positive thinking!!! Yeappy yea!
This is a special post for Kendra Ng who has been complaining about how HUGE my words are. Kendra can you read my post? Small enough for you? Wahaha! I bet you’ll complaint again on how small it is now right? I’ll be waiting yea? J