A moody colour to use. Why? Because I was hurt by what my Mum said to me, which made me feel really very useless. She knew I have a test this Monday, I mean the whole week I have tests going on. So I tried to study, went to a friend’s house to study.

Got a call from her, and all I got was a lecture and demoralizing words. “What’s the use of studying the day before? Study till late night also will forget the next day. Studying the day before, do you think you will pass? If you wanted to study, you would have done it long ago.”

Hearing all this fcked up shit made me confuse, agitated and hurt. What the bloody fcuk ‘encouragement’ is this? Do not even get support from her that I at least try to study for the test tomorrow? Had the thought of giving up ‘O’s after that call. But if I walk the wrong step now, the one suffering will be me. So I told myself that no matter what ever comes, or happens, I will just finish my ‘O’s.

Seriously, ever since my family broke up, and my Mum met another guy, she has change a lot. I really feel the attitude that she has ever since she was with him. The guy also has serious attitude problem. He even wanted to punch me 3 years back. Called a man? Fcuk that! From then on, I dislike him. Now I’m starting to dislike her. Luckily, she stays at another block. So I do not see her frequently. When ever I see her, it is either, she is nice or most of the time sarcastic and with an attitude.

What can say guys? It is her choice to be with him. CB! Because of that guy! My family is incomplete. Spared a fcukin thought about my dad? Not at all! Sometimes when I see my dad, my heart aches. After the divorce, he has also change a lot. I can’t blame him totally. At least, when there is time I will try to spend it with him, which I have done so on Saturday! Feel so happy.

While I was asleep on Saturday morning, he woke me up and told me he’ll wait for me to wake up and than proceed to jurong point to just walk walk. So I agreed. After that, he suggested we go visit my Grandma. I miss her so much. So we headed to Lim Chu Kang to visit her. On the way there, a girl was selling flowers, bought a bouquet of flowers and went to the grave. Expected, the grave was nicely done with marble tombstone. Fcukin big piece. Very nice. But I did not like the photo of my grandma! Fucking ugly! The colour was very badly done, so I told my dad to change the photo and he agreed. So I’ll be looking forward to visiting my grandma soon. Hmm really miss my grandma. It is unexplainable. The power of love.

Alright, I got to rest well so I can sit through the test in the late afternoon. Class as per normal, and test starts at 2 pm. No other better vulgarities to use anymore. It is either fcuk or CB. Teach me more if you know better ones.

In conclusion, i just have to complete my aims for this year. I have to constantly remind myself, by this year, pass ‘o’s, and bike license. That’s all. Got so many activities after my ‘o’s. Friend’s birthday which is at a chalet, going overseas with my mum, overseas with friends, finding a job and more. But most importantly is ‘O’s.

Work hard and I will be able to get the fruit of my labor!