I just felt that my heart seemed to be very heavy with worries weighing on it. It’s like they don’t seem to be worried about the results of the exams, and here I am feeling all heavy. I’m just figuring out what will I do when I get my results. 3 choices, if I can qualify for polytechnic that will be good, next if I fail or the grades ain’t that good for poly then it’ll be private school doing a diploma and lastly if I wanna enter NS first then so be it. But I doubt that will happen. I won’t wanna enter that early. Got so many things to do before I enter the Army.

Anyway I’ve been like doing revision for the past 2 days at home for Social studies and Science chemistry. The topics are like repeats, studied them before, therefore it’s easier to absorb. Yea, so doing revision and I just felt helpless because the thought of not passing keeps getting into my mind and then I start to imagine the same stuff again. Signs of stress!! I need fucking treatment! Haha.

Been sleeping late this few days too, like at 5 or 6am. Terrible sleeping pattern. I think the lack of sleep is affecting me a lot? It changes my emotions. I feel less upbeat and just worry more and more. For the past few days, I had a hard time trying to sleep and I went to do a research on why I have a hard time sleeping. The reason is because I worry too much and therefore my body is prevented from getting into the deeper stages of sleep and because I worry too much, my brain is active leading to difficulties to fall asleep. I need to relax, get out of Singapore which is soon after exams. For like a week. I need to loosen myself. I think I’ll be fine after the exams? I doubt so because I’ll be even more worried for the results. Oh my gosh la seriously. Fuck.

I better sleep now, try to sleep.