Lately, I’ve had thoughts that really make my heart ache. Voices I hear everyday, they tell me, just let it go and carry on, why still hold on when you know there isn’t anymore chances? Please make the right choice, start afresh, don’t let it affect you anymore. Those are the sentences I have been hearing for the past few days after some incidents that happened. Actually those voices started long ago which was already close to a year. Sometimes, it is really very hard to let go of someone whom you gave your all and would do anything just to make her happy. But at some point of time, you do make her angry and making her happy was just as simple as snapping my fingers. Recalling those wonderful, sweet and loving times we had is really great but at the same time agonizing.
A few days ago, I was chatting with a friend on MSN, and all about a sudden he just asked bout my Ex girlfriend, and then on, we started talking about relationships and things that relate. I din really wanna talk bout it but somehow I did and it really hurt a lot that night.
Really good friends had told me to let her go, but it ain’t easy. Just because I still love her regardless of what had happened in the past. I don’t know why. That is why maybe people say that love is blind? I do think it’s true to a certain extent. Like you would do anything for that person you really love. Alright so letting go ain’t easy and that explains why I’ve been clinging on after the breakup on 31st of March 2008. Some of you may think it’s stupid and child’s play to remember dates, but for this particular date it’s really heartbreaking. Try being in my shoes.
Ever since the breakup, I’ve been longing to get her back into my arms again, countless times I’ve tried and tried, the result I get is zero. It’s really hard now that I want her back into my life. I’ve been hoping so much, thinking almost every night what we did together when we were together. Just purely thoughts of her. Just whenever I’m alone in some where quiet and comfortable, I’ll think of her too. I’ve been longing to see her, but she says she’s busy every now and then. It’s alright I understand, there may be reasons.
So I’ve been thinking if I should really listen to the voices I hear every now and then? If I let my thoughts of her go, It would really affect me emotionally. But if I cling on and knowing there ain’t hope, it would also affect me. But if I do try to let her go, things may have a change of direction, may be better, may be worse. I would want to have a positive outlook.
Actually I’ve had made my decision while I was on the way home in the bus just now. I will try to forget her, but in one condition, let me have the last dinner with her and that’s all. It would end there. From there on.. let’s see bout that.
I may think sometimes, that my blog is too wordy? But if you really like reading stuff from me, I guess you wouldn’t mind right? J